Finding Balance While Staying Updated Online

As busy as I am with life and living, my writing and blogging is actually part of my therapeutic "down" time. What started as journaling my way through my children teen years, turned into a part-time career. I have been writing for print publications and blogging for many years. When I started earning money for writing in print publications, I began to neglect my online activity. My freelance stories and op-ed column are often not on my blog. Sometimes a magazine publisher may request for a story not to be posted online. Often, I would forget to update my blog site once the story was published. 

My Journal and Sanity Saver!

This year, I want to pay closer attention to my online publishing and engage my online community more. After all, it was my blogging and the community that I built around my blog that lead to the print syndication which eventually lead to Living Your Best Life radio show. As my grandmother would say, “never forget where you started.” Last week, I spent a rainy weekend accessing and updating my online footprint. 

I have learned that many seasoned writers pick one or the other. But I want to do both while finding balance. I know I am not super woman but I do love the freedom that comes with being online. But my business is not online. How do you do all that is needed to stay current online while meeting business responsibilities and print publications deadlines? I have no definitive answer but I have vowed to do better in 2013. I gave my online activity a checkup and made several changes while looking to implement more later this month.

While looking at what was lacking, I reeducated myself about the online community. No, I am not a blogging newbie but I read for hours as if I was seeing the blogging community for the first time. I spent time reading blogs that would not have appealed to me eight years ago. And revisited blogs and business women that were my early inspirations. That weekend resulted in a few action items listed below:

I am getting a blog designer for sure. Got several ideas and set my launch date. Thanks to  http://www.thesitsgirls.com/ for the wonderful posts on finding the right designer.

I had never submitted my site to Outbrain. It was quick and simple. I noticed traffic right away.

I found reading Social Media Examiner most informative. Where have I been?

I deleted blogs that no longer exists on my site and added new ones that I actually read. don't you hate dead links!

I updated posts to Divine Caroline, Work It Mom, Blogcritics and Mom Bloggers Club. In the pass, many of my stories were picked up nationally by posting on these sites.

After conquering the above, I felt as if my weekend at home was a retreat of sorts. I felt renewed and engaged. I did not try to do a hundred actions item, I picked a number that was durable and completed them. What a set up for success; starting and finishing a task without becoming overwhelmed. I have big plans for the 2013 but I want to stay grounded and sane. My writing/blogging come with being grounded and keeping my sanity.

In a few weeks, the pest control season will be in full swing and I will not have time to breath. But I did make a few notes to make a point of taking better care of my little blog that has done so well taking care of me. My rants, raves, faves, cares, and "all naw" are on here.

My blogging updates was a reminder for me to never forget the starting point of my journey!

(A very special thank you to several women who inspired me to keep writing by watching and reading them! (Luvvie, Gina, Danielle, Ronnie, Ellen, and Nikki)

A Life Changing Encounter with a Homeless Woman

A year ago, I volunteered to help with a project for women cancer survivors. I have participated in several events over the years that were geared to help restore or uplift the spirits of cancer survivors through pampering, empowerment or patient advocacy. Diving in heart first, I was excited to volunteer to help stamp out the stigma of cancer. At this event, I met women from diverse backgrounds on various stages of their journey with their cancer diagnosis. Some of the women had recently completed their treatments and some of them were a few years down the road. Some were well known in the community and supported by family and friends. A few were still in treatment but only one was homeless.

Enter Wanda.

Wanda was in a battle for life with no place to call her own. She was referred by her oncologists who knew about the special event. When Wanda entered my makeshift dressing room, she was a bit nervous as she gave me a once over and checked out the surroundings packed with designer clothes and jewelry on loan to me from personal friends from around the country. As I introduced myself, I promised her we were going to have a fantastic time as I pulled my “stylist” title out of the box for her makeover and photo session. I shared with her about my grandfather who was the motivation for me volunteering that day. Wanda countered my icebreaker conversation with words of her own as she told me how she wanted to look. “Not shy, this one”, I thought to myself with a smile. After our intro, Wanda tried on clothes while preparing for her photo shoot. During that time together, we shared about each other lives. Wanda did not hold back her thoughts and gave me quite a few old school zingers about her observations about life from a street perspective. Her words were honesty on steroids. She shared her thoughts about “people wanting to help others when their own lives are messed up.” Hearing her priceless commentary had me roaring with laughter and deep in thought. Wanda talked about her cancer diagnosis and her chemo treatments that seemed endless. She did not hold back about the physical and mental pain. She expressed her gratefulness for the Madison Church of Christ congregation that befriended her and took her under their wings. The more I inquired about how she was taking care of herself, the more she shared about her life and background. "Cancer was the last thing on my mind,” she said softly at one point. She had seen many trials before cancer, I was told. But those trials produced one of the most courageous women I have ever met.


When she was photographed, her inner strength and beauty that I saw firsthand filled the camera lens. Wanda was radiant and proud. My tears flowed uncontrollably as the photographer kept telling her how stunning she was as he was encouraging her to give him her best smile for the camera. By the end of the shoot, Wanda was ready to sign with the Ford Modeling agency!

As we were calling the day a wrap, I introduced Wanda to my friend, Daphne, who was volunteering also. I told Wanda that Daphne was a dentist. With all the frankness that only Wanda can deliver, she pulled off her well-coiffed wig that was used in her beauty transformation and said, “A dentist! How come you did not introduce her to me first? I really need to visit her!” With a jerk of a wig, Wanda gave me a dose of reality. Just like that, Wanda told us in her own way, what her real needs were!

A homeless woman taught me to make sure "my good works" met the needs of those I am trying to serve. Giving a winter coat to a man who lives in the desert is an exercise in futility. A homeless woman showed me that true compassion and a willingness to listen to those who need to be heard should be at the heart of volunteering. A homeless woman had me reevaluating if my volunteer hours were making any difference. A homeless woman had me questioning if my "good deeds" were actually meeting real needs. It might be a city flooded or hit by a tornado or a cancer patient who has no place to lay their head: in the end, we all need each other. Listening to Wanda, I learned the importance of knowing the true need of those who I am trying to serve. Wanda taught me to listen for the real answer when I ask, "How can I help?"

I stayed in touch with Wanda and her church members. They became her adopted family and friends. They all have endless stories about the goodness of Wanda. She is well. They say she has an apartment of her own and is finishing school. Everyone that knows her tell me exactly the same thing, “Wanda changed my life!” Wanda changed my life too. Because of Wanda, I have learned nothing in life is without purpose or meaning, even an encounter with a homeless person.

Originally published on Blogcritics

Christian Protests That Produces Ungodly Behavior

Middle Tennessee is part of what is known as the Bible belt. “A church on every corner” is how we are depicted. For every church, there are five associate ministers waiting to hear “the call” to start their own church or begging God that main preacher will allow them to preach one Sunday. We have several national Christian organizations that are headquartered in Nashville: the Southern Baptist Convention, the National Baptist Convention, and the General Board of Discipleship of the United Methodist Church are just a few examples. Lifeway, RH Boyd, and the United Methodist Publishing House are Christian entities that produce church material for church folks to gain a better understanding and knowledge of God daily.

This area is home to several colleges that have Christian roots or missions: Belmont, David Lipscomb, Fisk, Meharry Medical College, Trevecca, and Vanderbilt are all titans in secondary education. These colleges have produced some of the most intelligent, nationally recognized folks who are highly respected throughout the world. Many national Christian conventions are held here as well. The National Religious Broadcaster (NRB) is one the most successful conventions held here annually. National Religious Broadcasters (NRB) is a non-partisan, international association of Christian communicators whose member organizations represent millions of listeners, viewers and readers. If you want to be on the television or radio and you want to call it a ministry, NRB is a conference you should attend. The Middle Tennessee area is also the number one region in the country for home school families. Many home school families cite religion as their primary reason for homeschooling. The number of private Christian schools in the area are too numerous to even begin to list.

With all Christ-centered organizations mentioned above, the behaviors of some church folks are keeping Middle Tennessee in the national spotlight. The spotlight seems to say we are church goers who are deeply devoted to our religious beliefs but are not practicing the tenets of loving our neighbors and Christ like acceptance of others. We are wearing hypocritical halos. I have received several calls from curious media friends from around the country asking what is happening in my beloved Volunteer state. My friends were stating that the many stories I have written about the Volunteer State’s generosity and philanthropy endeavors to those in need did not seem like the same state that is producing extreme ungodly behavior towards others who not of the Christians faith. It is a phenomenon that I am having a hard time trying to explain because I am perplexed as well.

Lately, there have been several protests against proposed Mosques in our area that have become very heated and have evoked fear in Christians that Islamic extremists are taking over. Really? With thousands of churches in the Middle Tennessee area that serves millions of Christians, three Mosques are a threat to the faith to Tennessee Christians? Hmm, let that soak for a minute. Protesters have gone from lawfully honking horns, signing petitions, and protesting Mosque locations at council meetings to someone crossing the line by burning construction equipment on the site of the property of the Murfreesboro’s Mosque, which is criminal. With the South’s ugly history of protests that have lead to the burning of property, the burning of the construction equipment was too close to numerous stories that I have heard from my parents and grandparents on the Civil Right battlefield. Many of the protests have been cloaked in biblical poetry and using constitutional sounding words that sound very unconstitutional. All of this protesting had me digging deep to separate fact from fear with a friend.

Since we debate political issues often for sport, I shared with her some of my concerns of where the protests can lead if voices of reasons do not speak up soon. Damaging property leads to harming individuals physically and neither are Godly behaviors. My concerns were deflected with her view that Islam was becoming the “new” religion of our country which she stated was founded on Judeo-Christian values. The discussion had us nursing our coffee cups for three hours.

For several weeks, her emails were sounding the alarm to take the country the back and the need for us to remember the constitution was founded by our Founding Fathers. I would reply that I refuse to live in fear. At our coffee summit, I gave her a copy of the Bill of Rights with the First Amendment highlighted. I asked her to read it out loud.

She read, “"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances." After she read it, we both sat in silent for a moment. I could feel her becoming angry in her silence. I said to her, “Fear can provoke us into mayhem and madness.” The Constitution that my friend wants us to get back to gives us the freedom of religion, no matter who we worship; it gives us freedom of speech to say what we want no matter how sane or vile it may be; it gives us the right to read this blog weekly through the freedom of the press; it give us the right to the freedom of assembly so we can meet to protest or pray, and allows us to complain about our government because we have the right to petition the government. That is what separates us from countries like Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan.

“Try calling the leader of China a socialist and see where it gets you,” I said to her with a smile. After another pot of coffee, we realized that we were going to have differing views on the actions of burning the equipment at the Mosque site. I finally pleaded: how can we read our bible daily and allow the hate and fear of others to fester from our pores? ‘Isn’t that the opposite of being a Christian,” I asked sadly. “I don’t hate them,” she said quietly. I was not trying to change her mind on any issues, I only wanted to her understand and respect my family’s heritage of non violent protests that I strongly believe in today. I have friends from all different backgrounds. We have dialogued about the Mosques buildings that have the media swarming in Tennessee like termites.

Tennessee has become a haven for national corporations over the last decade or so. With trade and industry booms, diversity in ethnicity and religion has followed. As we have opened our arms to invite others to Tennessee for economic reasons, we have to accept with those invitations an influx of other cultures. Those cultures which at one time were in the background are more visible because of the growth in our population, the anti-Muslim political climate, and the ever present media hype without a purpose.

In this age of social media, it is easy to adopt a Twitter mindset of follow and unfollow the constitution depending on how we feel about a particular subject matter. But as Christians, folks are supposedly to think and act different, right? Since there are Christian groups and church folks as numerous as the stars above in the Middle Tennessee area, I would have thought a leader would have stepped forward from one of the many national Christian organizations that are based here and calmed the masses with words that would curtail violent behavior knowing our Southern heritage of protests followed by cruelty. We are in desperate need of leaders who preach the gospel to remind us to practice the words that printed in our area by the hour. Let me close with the verse that I closed my coffee session with my friend.

19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

As great as the constitution, it is has undergone several revision. However, God's word has stood the test of time.

Photo Credit:(John A. Gillis/DNJ)

Article first published as Christian Protests that Produce Ungodly Behavior on Blogcritics.

A Conversation With A Marine

(photos Lance Corporal T. Hoffman with his mom moments before he is deployed to Afghanistan. Last summer photo with his younger brother, Turner)
My dear friend Jennifer is the mom of Lance Corporal T. Hoffman. Two weeks ago, he was deplored to Afghanistan. He has the dangerous mission of searching for roadside IEDs with his dog. Prior to his departure last month, I asked him about his decision to join the USMC. Especially, when he had many other doors open for him. His words let me know that being a solider is an honorable career.

He shared his honest feelings about the questions I asked. The questions were off the top of my head and there was no agenda in asking him about his faith, freedom, and serving our country. A few were about government policy that affect who can and cannot serve in the US Military. That interview was seen in numerous newspapers and posted at www.Blogcritics.org. I wanted to hear from solider and shares his point of view about serving when he did not have too. On www.blogcritics.Org, there were some strong opinions about what was said in the article. There were several who personally attacked the right of an individual to serve in a volunteer military and share his views. Not once did the young solider criticize our country or our country leaders.

Behind computer screens with made up names, some insults were leveled about policy, why we are in Afghanistan and various other comments heaped on a young man who decided to serve. None of those questions could he have answered even if he wanted. I was discussing his commitment to serve while a few weighed in on why we were in Afghanistan. Two different issues all together. Several made it very personal. The article has been one of the most read on www.Blogcritics.org since Thursday and was posted on several other sites. After reading the comments, here is what I know for sure; Lance Corporal Hoffman did not pick the war he was asked to fight in. Nor did he decide where he was going to be stationed. He does not make up the rules of engagement and he does not pick who serves with him. He votes in one state, one election at a time. As a solider, his political views are not considered when he serves our country. When I last saw him, he showed not sign of being brainwashed to join the Marines nor was he "looking for adventure" because he chose to join. Adventure can be found climbing Mt. Everest, not looking for IEDs.

What he was in control of was his heart to serve our country. He is brave and courageous. He is young and faithful. He is married to a beautiful wife and loved by many. He is a Marine. He is the same age that many of our current and former military leaders of today were when they enlisted in our military. That list includes Generals Powell and Honore’. No one would call their decision to serve anything less than honorable.

THIS post is to say thank you to Tyler and thousands of other brave men and women who are serving our country. THIS post is to remind me that our freedom comes with a price. Cliché or not, I would not be able even to post differing views if I lived in many other countries. Remember Iran last summer? How quickly we forget. If anyone wants to debate issues about our government policy, countries where soldiers are station, wars tactics and rumors of wars…there are blogs for that. There are many policies regarding the military that our government has made over the years that I have not agreed with but one thing I keep separate; my appreciation for the those serving and debating political issues that a solider has no have power over.

Let me say again, thank you Lance Corporal Hoffman for serving our country. Thank you to every solider who has worn a uniform. Thank you to my uncles, cousins, in-laws, my brother and numerous friends for CHOOSING to serve our country.

Happy Fourth of July! Happy Birthday America

http://blogcritics.org/politics/article/why-i-serve-a-conversation-with/