30 Days to Losing Weight brought on by Emotional Eating

I have never blogged about losing weight. I have read numerous posts over the years from other bloggers sharing their weight loss stories, but I never thought it was an issue I would write about for my readers. But surely as a blogger lives, a blogger grows; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes, to my dismay, physically.

I have worked out and walked regularly to stay healthy and slim all of my adult life. I have many reminders from my family tree of what obesity looks like and countless ill family members. Having modeled off and on for many years, I know that staying fit is necessary to getting booked. After I turned 40, being healthy overshadowed vanity. Now, well into my 40s, I am learning that my fight with weight is often a fight with eating for emotional comfort. For the last ten years, several family crises led me to late-night snacking that contributed to spikes in my weight. Family issues like my older son’s surprising marriage, a teen daughter's determination to see the whole family all in hell, along with the devastating loss of my grandfather in 2007 contributed to weight gains that I fought and won over the years, but my weight gain pandemonium reached its highest level this past year.

In 2010, my youngest son, known affectionately as Baby Boy, abruptly decided to join the Marines and the family’s drama queen came on with all the fury of Hurricane Katrina. Again. Not to mention my beloved grandmother has been ill throughout the year. I internalized all my frustrations and anxiety without realizing it. Working late at night and reaching for "something" crunchy became a nightly habit.

My weight crept up slowly on me. I was walking but not being attentive to working out. I learned some time ago that in order to prevent genetic health issues and weight gain, I needed more than walking to keep my weight down. I added Zumba and weightlifting to my workout routines. When I became an empty nester, my beloved workout plan included exercising in the mornings and afternoons. That time was carefully carved out and rarely interrupted. All of that changed when my adult children came home this summer.

In May, my baby boy, returned from Camp Legumes. Elated to have him home, I was at his beck and call. Who says no to a Marine? In June, my drama queen moved back home for a few short months. Within a few days of everyone dropping their bags in the middle of my living room floor, I became a taxi driver, a caretaker, and "mommy" again to grown children. Add worrying about my grandmother to my tornadic family life and I was a perfect storm for gaining weight. “God help me”, became my daily plea. My little home became too small for my own shadow. Claustrophobia started settling in, quickly. The pressure from all the issues happening at once got to be unbearable. Did I share that I started a radio show somewhere in the middle of all of this mayhem?

Over the summer, I became a size thick a term I learned from my sons. Nothing’s wrong with being thick, they reassured me often, but I saw someone in the mirror who has gained enough weight to make two of me. When the children eventually left home for school and work, I challenged myself to lose my "baby boy" weight, 25 pounds. I got my doctor’s approval last week.

I thought I would share my routines and goals with Genma Speaks readers and to my radio show, Living Your Best Life, audience.

When I was at my desired weight, I walked five to seven miles a day, rain or shine. Often, I combined a Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds walk indoors with a two-mile walk outdoors, if the weather cooperated. I also worked out three times a week on my gazelle. Last year, I added Zumba on Monday evenings. Zumba was fun and gave me time to spend with others having sweaty fun. I was not a workout fanatic by any means, but my stress levels were kept at bay. Running two businesses comes with an anxiety clause. Anxiety has been a key issue in my gaining weight.

I have kept journals for years that soaked up the ups and downs of my life, but today is my first time blogging about my weight. I was motivated by other women who have blogged about their weight loss journey. I was never one to follow the crowd, but why not share? Public scrutiny can have its downside. But publicly engaging others on an issue that many struggle with can have many positive outcomes, if not for me, for those who are in the same situation.

I was encouraged by reading others’ weight loss journeys on the web and attending Cindy N. Landham’s class two summers ago, which I want to take a second time this fall.

Wish me luck as I find my figure (and sanity) and put a summer of stress behind me.

Day 1, Monday, September 19, 2011 my workout included a Leslie Sansone Walk At Home five mile fat burning walk and 20 minutes on my Gazelle. I worked up a serious sweat and felt the burn.

Here is a website that I spent days reading: Black Woman's Weight Loss Blog

P.S. No, I do not expect to lose 25 pounds in 30 days...I am hoping to update my blog for 30 days about losing weight.

Transforming cubs into "Big Blue" Tigers

(Originally written for the Big Blue Issue)

Between my two sons, I have learned much about college life through their eyes and experiences. The TSU’s campus has changed a lot in twenty five years but the pride and love my sons feel about TSU have kept me engaged in all things Big Blue.


My eldest son’s college experiences were vastly different from my younger son’s experience. Sending one son to school that graduated not once but twice earned me my Tiger mom survival badge of honor and unofficial "Chairmama" of all blessings from the TSU community. He was a model student that stayed on target and worked various jobs while maintaining his presidential scholarship. He was involved in many activities on campus, ran track and he graduated with honors. He even pledged a fraternity. Busy young man, huh? With my proud mama badge, I boldly thought that I could produce the same results from kid number 2.


“Lord hear my cry” became my prayer of choice when my youngest son stepped on the yard. Baby boy was not a bit of trouble in high school but turned my life upside down trying to figure out what to do about his idea of college and my idea of him being in school. My drama free kid was nothing but a production from getting him enrolled, room assignments, registration, financial aid, shots and physicals…you get the picture. You name the issue, I got a time and date for it. Not one to run from problems as a family, we were not prepared for baby boy’s first year of college.


Same family, community, and college. What was the problem? Two very different young men. I think I nursed somebody too long. To be transparent, I assumed that because big brother had a model college life with few issues, his success would be duplicated just by sheer osmosis in kid number 2. My youngest son was still a baby that I had not let go. He had an easy going spirit and personality and he gave order to my life. I placed more emphasis on baby boy not getting into trouble than preparing him to live away from home. I took care of everything for him which came back to haunt me and hurt him.


Leaving home to attend college is one of the first steps many take on their journey to adulthood. Whether the school is stamped on your child’s birth certificate, across town or two thousand miles away, college life can often distract young people from an education that college offers. Preparing your child for college life should start no later than the 9th grade. Some educators have recommend starting as early as 4th grade. Teaching teens financial literacy, time management, good work habits, personal safety tips while visiting several colleges helps with transforming your college bound teen.


Making sure conversations about college life is talked about often in preparation for school is important. Not just parties and no parental supervision slants but more dialogues about responsibilities as a student. Students will not know everything but it is important that they know the school is a learning environment and not a place to goof off.


With more first generational students attending college, colleges are now having workshops to prepare parents for college life. As I learned, when your child attends college so you attend as well in many aspects. Baby boy was well connected within the TSU family but he needed more help to get focused. We weren’t afraid to pull in others for input. Learning to get paperwork in on time and teaching him to become more responsible about his education were steps to getting him on the right track. We learned he became overwhelmed easily. Overwhelmed? Really? Who knew?


If you have a young person considering college, surround them with positive role models, reasonable accountability, and make sure their focus is education and not school activities. Sometimes hearing from someone other than mom and dad can help with life adjustments. College life can be overpowering when students are not prepared academically, mentally, socially or physically. Start sooner than later and expect the unexpected. I have learned that no two kids are alike in life or in college.Transforming a cub into a Big Blue Tiger takes prayers, patience and preparation.

It Takes a Village

I am the perfect imperfect mom. My kids are everything I want to be in life and everything I want to change about me. I try to celebrate their uniqueness by keeping them engaged and involved in our community.

Raising my oldest, Franz, was as taxing as my youngest. I actually earned my stripes with him. He was too smart for his own good and no matter where we put him, his inquisitive nature got him trouble. He was not a bad kid and never did anything to hurt others; he just got into trouble…often.

When he attended school at MLK, Dr. Saffell-Smith was the principal. I introduced myself to her at the first parent-teacher conference and told her he was going to be a handful. Any advice she had to give, I was willing to listen. I am not a parent to complain about a teacher’s authority and I have always supported anyone who cultivates leadership and growth in my children. Dr. Saffell-Smith’s patience was put to test within the first month of school. A call about his rambunctious behavior was the beginning of my relationship with Dr. Saffell-Smith.

Dr. Saffell-Smith and I talked weekly. She never let him get away with anything. She was the first to bring up the word mentor with me. While I was frustrated and yelling, she remained calm and encouraging. She never gave up even when I wanted too. She introduced David Bullock to our family. At that time, David worked for FANUC Robotics. They had similar spirits and complimented each other well. Under David's watchful eye, my son started networking and working for himself. David gave him small projects to complete that would earn him income. Earning his own money at an early age was the key to helping him value being independent later.

My kid, who gave me migraines and sleepless nights, graduated with honors from MLK in 2004. He chose his college (TSU), he worked out his scholarship offers and took the lessons he learned from his schools, his principles, his mentor and family with him. The good, the bad and the ugly were all part of building his character. He navigated his college education by building a support network among his professors and peers. His sophomore year, he joined the track team and promised me he would not allow track to distract him from his studies.

The decision to run track while studying sports medicine was not my choice for him but he was “grown” and what could I say. The conversations about school and post graduate studies were peppered with track meets. I was afraid he was being diverted from his education. We came to an impasse his senior year when I was informed he was not going to march in May. He said he had a track meet. The words I uttered that day can never be taken back. He told me later, he had already hung up his cell and never heard me. Thank God.

He marched August 8, 2008. He was number one in his school and carried the flag. My tears flowed freely as I shouted his name. I acknowledge, his four years of college was around the time of his sibling’s crazy phase. Franz graduation’s helped me to realize that a mother never stops wanting the best for her children. He started grad school the following month. He was also hired as the assistant strength coach. Looking at his schedule, I mentioned school/ work balance. He hurriedly told me he can manage both. Not only was he independent but he was determined.

This summer, I turned my attention to my youngest son and his laid back attitude about life. He was feeling my wrath. While I was dealing with his younger brother, Franz went to Colorado with Coach for three weeks. He mentioned a training event but no other details were given.

When he returned home, he looked as if he found his calling in life. He was a trainer and guide for the Paralympics for Team USA. He worked with blind runners for two weeks at the U.S. Olympics facilities in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Did I ask about school and work? No. I have learned; he knows what he is doing. It truly takes a village…two more to go. Now don’t go anywhere, I need you.

Fridays with CEO Fellowship

Every Friday morning, I am out the door to my 6:45 appointment with CEO Fellowship. CEO Fellowhip is a networking group that is focused on your daily walk and not your daily deposits. It is an appointment that I have only missed once in eight months. It is my power hour for me, my family, and my business. I got to get there! Sunny or thundering and lightning, the forty five minute drive to Brentwood is the only drive that I do not complain about the mileage or gas. I come with my note book and pen ready to get my fill of the Word that not only motivates me to be the best I can be, but cuts through the garbage in my head and heart that can not be detective with a smile and hand shake.

Some memorable moments for me in the last few weeks have been Ruby Kalis, Steve Robinson and Nancy Reece. Mr. Kalis made such an impact on my Hurricane Alexis and Baby Boy Corn, that I am still trying to make sense of the effect his presentation had on them. Rudy Kalis is sports director with WSMV. With a house full of athletes, his words from that week have been repeated over and over by kids. "Mom, did you hear him say" is how many conversations with my son and daughter start since they heard him speak in September. I had them as my guests that week hoping something would be said that would make an impact on them. Boy, did I underestimate that one. They have talked about Rudy every week and I find the tv on WSMV instead of ESPN more and more.

Steve Robinson, a director of FCA, made an impact on the kids at several athletic camps over the summer. I realized why the kids respect him so highly after hearing him share his story last week. Steve gave insight about the challenges a CEO faces at home. The room was silent and reflective as Steve shared his life story. His vulnerability before a room full of men and women was courageous and gut wrenching.

Nancy Reece, a sought after speaker, gave me pages and pages of notes from her lesson on leadership. The power of her message left me thinking deeply long after the I left the building. Nancy is with The Human Capital Group and I can see why the company is successful. Nancy's emphasis on integrity was the foundation of her message. There is no way she could have spoken with such authority if that was not her life.

CEO Fellowship has that affect on me since my joining the group. The hugs and smiles are genuine and the honest dialogue is refreshing and renews your spirit after a week of being beat down by the day to day business of doing business. The room is diverse in backgrounds each week but is be unified on the mission of equipping business owners to be better leaders at home and in the marketplace.

We start each meeting with song and praise with Alex Harvey. Lenoard Isaccs turn up the volume making sure each visitor get a dose of laughter and a warm welcome. Carla Ritz keeps us organized and greets everyone with a smile. Jerry Moll brings order and reminds us of the purpose of the group. Joe Green, Chairman, teaches with many examples from his life. Speakers from all spectrum of God's kingdom walk through the doors leaving a piece of themselves behind. There are a host of other volunteers that give of themselves to make sure the meetings are well planned. All done with love and admiration for God's word and to help business owners, executives, and those in career transitions to be better and to do better.

If you are in the Nashville area, we meet every Friday morning at 6:45 rain or shine.
For more information about the group: www.ceofellowship.com

Photos by: Stephen Kiern

Hillsboro vs. Maplewood, Thursday Night Lights Football Mom Style

Baby Boy, Corn to the world, had a much better week this week. He is still riding the bus and making it home in once piece. Hillsboro played in their second televised game of the season. As I sat in the bleachers watching the game, I noticed that our high school games can garner as much media as the Titans. This game was a rematch of last year's season ender for Hillsboro, so much was at stake.

Hillsboro came on the field with a determination to win and it showed. Corn was in on several plays and I was not as concerned about him as I was last week. I was glad on a few plays he was not in the game because the guys in the heap in green and yellow came off the field looking as if they had tackled bricks instead of muscles. Maplewood boys are not missing any meals.

The sounds of helmets hitting each other and seeing a few being knocked off of players do not make this mom feel good. I love the game and I love watching my kid play but I have my limitations. The highlight of the game, for me, was not Hillsboro winning 28 to Maplewood 12 but the awesome spectacle of Maplewood's band and dancing majorettes. I was reminded of the my years growing up near Alcorn State University in Mississppi. My mom and several relatives were professors there and I have a few cousins that attended the college. Steve McNair, a former Titan, is an alumnus of Alcorn. The half time show was an important part of the game as winning. The majorettes were called Golden Girls and they were known for their dance routines and those fancy gold and purple sequins were known around the SWAC conference. They were the south's Rockettes with soul!

Maplewood majorettes were of that style without being hoochie. Precision and flair were all over the place. It got us up-tight folks our of our seats and the Green Hills crowd shook their tail feathers. Imagine that. The entire band joined in on several numbers and showed us how they do it on the other side of town. I was proud of them and clapped through out every number as if my children were entertaining everyone.

As soon as they finished on the field, I brazenly ran over to the other side with all my Hillsboro football mom attire and asked the moms in the crowd how many of their kids have not registered to vote? I conveniently had a few applications on hand. As I stroked the opposing team mothers and complimented the principle and the band director for such a lively half time show, I was shamelessly promoting getting their kids registered to vote. "It is what we football moms do," I told the crowd that was eying me as if I was smoking something. It worked because several moms took applications, twelve to be exact.

What a night, a win for Corn, a great halftime show, and twelve moms vowed to registered their football players to vote. Not bad for a Thursday night at the game.

Baby Boy had a BAAAAD Week!

My second child, known as Corn to the world, had a week that can only be described as hellish. After warning my son for weeks that he would ride the bus if he did not appreciate me picking him up from school, I pulled the plug on my chauffeuring duties and had him to ride MTA on Monday. Not bad by any means, but if you have gone your entire 17 years of life and never been on the bus, you are in for a rude awakening. Living in Tennessee, the MTA is not that of New York and Chicago. It is cruel by those standards. Since the nearest bus stop is several miles away, I dropped him off at a satellite stop with NO ONE but the wind waiting. He and I looked at each other at 5:21AM and I suddenly regretted my decision to go hard on him and teach him a life lesson. I tried to sound stern when I said, "get out, this is it" but inside I was dying. I waited a few minutes because I was too fearful to leave him.

He nor I knew what I was doing. For the next several days, he got off at the wrong stop, he left school work twice, and there was calls from me to the school to make sure he made it. He got home from football practice and the long bus ride looking as if his mom was a monster from his bad dreams. I had to accept that I had stopped nursing him some years ago and this was needed I told my reflection in the mirror. This was hard for both us because he was my kid without attitudes and a mouth. He was rewarded by being allowed to play sports, any and all the time. Those rewards turned into torture for me because as he got older, he took advantage of his 'practice schedule'. His practice time was also his way of socializing and flirting with the cheerleaders that called out his name on and off the field. He was always late when I came to pick him up. With traffic and other stops along the way, it was starting to look like I was in a prison called 'Waiting on Corn'. I had said over and over that I was going to make him ride the bus but each time I was at the school sitting and waiting. After a month into this new school year, I said enough is a enough.

Why he does not drive you are thinking? Because of his 'practice schedule', most things were done for him. He is not the most responsible one that I raised. He had less chores than the other children but then again he was never in trouble. This slight form of favoritism had a downside. He would lose any and every thing; cell phones, keys, book bags, money, cleats, you name it. The thought of him driving a vehicle that was insured through my business was a no,no. He plays sports, study his school work and works part time. Mom feed him and take care the details of life. He is not creative and independent like Hurricane Alexis nor is he focused on deep psychological conversations about the molecular structure of matter like Dr. Franz. He is consumed with football and any other sports that had a ball, as well as statistical analysis of the preseason predictions. From infancy, I noticed he was interested in feeding time and needing a ball for comfort. I provided both readily.

Once he became a teen, things did not change except girls came with his love of sports and the need to feed. The girls are all friends I am told often. I nod my head as if I am from Mars, of course. He now plays football at Hillsboro. He wants to be a sports journalist.

Last night, the game against MBA was one for the record books. I stood in the stands the entire last quarter. I could see the frustration the team was feeling. Miscues, fumbles and interceptions galore dogged Hillsboro throughout the night. My eyes were focused on jersey number 28. His pacing was killing me. When he got in the game, it was not for long because MBA would get the ball back within a play or two. Corn plays offense and defense. With 4:26 on the clock, the ball was turned over to Hillsboro and there was a cry from the stands that maybe we had a chance. The Boros got to the ten yard line but MBA's 'wall of steel' would not let them in the end zone. An interception, in the last minute of the game, sealed the deal. MBA 19, Hillsboro 14.

I walked out on the field like I have done hundreds of times in the past and gave him a pat on the butt. (I was forbidden to hug him many seasons ago.) I gave him an encouraging spill about the game was hard fought. He told me he felt he could have done better. We walked silently to the truck and I can feel his thoughts. My baby boy had a baaaad week! I wondered quietly if I had helped contribute to Hillsboro's lost by deciding he had to ride the bus.

This morning, he came into my home office at 6:00AM and asked for a ride to the school. He wanted to review the film of the previous night's game and practice for an hour. The bus does not have a Saturday schedule he informed me. He told me that he wanted to do better and he needed to get in some extra practice time. Because he usually works most Saturdays, this was the first week he was able to review film. His normal 8 hour Saturday has now been stretched to 12 and he seemed eager to get started. Baby boy is growing up. I got up right away to feed him!

What? I am his mom and some things are hard to change in one week.

http://preps.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=PREPSFACTORY
Photos by Dipti Vaidya