A Life Changing Encounter with a Homeless Woman

A year ago, I volunteered to help with a project for women cancer survivors. I have participated in several events over the years that were geared to help restore or uplift the spirits of cancer survivors through pampering, empowerment or patient advocacy. Diving in heart first, I was excited to volunteer to help stamp out the stigma of cancer. At this event, I met women from diverse backgrounds on various stages of their journey with their cancer diagnosis. Some of the women had recently completed their treatments and some of them were a few years down the road. Some were well known in the community and supported by family and friends. A few were still in treatment but only one was homeless.

Enter Wanda.

Wanda was in a battle for life with no place to call her own. She was referred by her oncologists who knew about the special event. When Wanda entered my makeshift dressing room, she was a bit nervous as she gave me a once over and checked out the surroundings packed with designer clothes and jewelry on loan to me from personal friends from around the country. As I introduced myself, I promised her we were going to have a fantastic time as I pulled my “stylist” title out of the box for her makeover and photo session. I shared with her about my grandfather who was the motivation for me volunteering that day. Wanda countered my icebreaker conversation with words of her own as she told me how she wanted to look. “Not shy, this one”, I thought to myself with a smile. After our intro, Wanda tried on clothes while preparing for her photo shoot. During that time together, we shared about each other lives. Wanda did not hold back her thoughts and gave me quite a few old school zingers about her observations about life from a street perspective. Her words were honesty on steroids. She shared her thoughts about “people wanting to help others when their own lives are messed up.” Hearing her priceless commentary had me roaring with laughter and deep in thought. Wanda talked about her cancer diagnosis and her chemo treatments that seemed endless. She did not hold back about the physical and mental pain. She expressed her gratefulness for the Madison Church of Christ congregation that befriended her and took her under their wings. The more I inquired about how she was taking care of herself, the more she shared about her life and background. "Cancer was the last thing on my mind,” she said softly at one point. She had seen many trials before cancer, I was told. But those trials produced one of the most courageous women I have ever met.


When she was photographed, her inner strength and beauty that I saw firsthand filled the camera lens. Wanda was radiant and proud. My tears flowed uncontrollably as the photographer kept telling her how stunning she was as he was encouraging her to give him her best smile for the camera. By the end of the shoot, Wanda was ready to sign with the Ford Modeling agency!

As we were calling the day a wrap, I introduced Wanda to my friend, Daphne, who was volunteering also. I told Wanda that Daphne was a dentist. With all the frankness that only Wanda can deliver, she pulled off her well-coiffed wig that was used in her beauty transformation and said, “A dentist! How come you did not introduce her to me first? I really need to visit her!” With a jerk of a wig, Wanda gave me a dose of reality. Just like that, Wanda told us in her own way, what her real needs were!

A homeless woman taught me to make sure "my good works" met the needs of those I am trying to serve. Giving a winter coat to a man who lives in the desert is an exercise in futility. A homeless woman showed me that true compassion and a willingness to listen to those who need to be heard should be at the heart of volunteering. A homeless woman had me reevaluating if my volunteer hours were making any difference. A homeless woman had me questioning if my "good deeds" were actually meeting real needs. It might be a city flooded or hit by a tornado or a cancer patient who has no place to lay their head: in the end, we all need each other. Listening to Wanda, I learned the importance of knowing the true need of those who I am trying to serve. Wanda taught me to listen for the real answer when I ask, "How can I help?"

I stayed in touch with Wanda and her church members. They became her adopted family and friends. They all have endless stories about the goodness of Wanda. She is well. They say she has an apartment of her own and is finishing school. Everyone that knows her tell me exactly the same thing, “Wanda changed my life!” Wanda changed my life too. Because of Wanda, I have learned nothing in life is without purpose or meaning, even an encounter with a homeless person.

Originally published on Blogcritics

From Rages to Riches to Rehab: Lessons Learned From the Ted Williams Story

The story of Ted Williams captivated the hearts and imaginations of millions this month. The rags-to-riches story of a homeless veteran with a golden voice took him off the street corner begging for change to the sets of the Today Show, The Tonight Show, The Early Show, Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, and Dr. Phil. He had a tearful on-air reunion with his mother and a public talk-show-inspired meeting with his children.

Lucrative voiceover contracts with Kraft, MSNBC and others were given to him within days of his story going viral. The video of him being interviewed by a local reporter has been seen by 15 million viewers and counting. His rise to stardom in less than two weeks was remarkable. The glare of the spotlight showed us his talents but it also showed us his demons, which made the media, who took him to the high heavens in one swoop, quickly throw him back to earth with a crashing thud.

There are several lessons that can be learned from the Ted Williams story. Most comeback stories are filled with ups and downs. There are many Ted Williamses in Nashville and cities around the country waiting to be "discovered," looking for an opportunity to prove they can earn a living and leave the life of the streets behind. They may not have a golden voice, but many have skills and abilities that have been buried under the hardships of homelessness.

Homelessness affects a person physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Many are looking for a second or even a third chance to correct the mistakes of the past. For every Ted Williams who needs a break, a Pat Waggoner is equally important for guidance, support and long term stability.

In Nashville, Pat Waggoner is known as a quiet and gentle man who loves his family, his church, and his community. He volunteers at the Criminal Justice Center and is the go-to guy for the local men's baseball and basketball teams. He teaches fifth and sixth gradeboys on Wednesday nights. In the world of real estate, Pat Waggoner is known as the realtor who sold Donald Trump Trump Towers.

In a community where generosity and serving others are part of our DNA, Pat Waggoner serves with a human touch. When I first read about Ted Williams, I immediately wondered if he had a support system in place that would go beyond the splashy media headlines. I prayed that Ted Williams had a Pat Waggoner in his life, more so than an agent. Pat helps many who have fallen on economic hard times by helping with housing needs, serving meals, and keeping extra clothing in his sales office “just in case.”

Known for housing, feeding, and clothing the homeless, he also helps find them jobs so they can become independent and self-sufficient. Pat is a strong advocate for rehabilitation to make sure that individuals stay drug- and alcohol-free after they leave the streets. He keeps a list of individuals he knows from his real estate transactions, various networking and civic groups, and church members who aid him in his passion for helping others.

Pat initiates help with such deeds, but he makes sure that for long-term wellbeing he mentors men and families about financial literacy, and makes sure sure they have someone to call when stressful situations occur that can push a person over the edge. He encourages group therapy and spiritual counseling and believes strongly that counseling is one of the greatest keys to personal growth. No, Pat Waggoner is not Superman, but he is dedicated to deflating homelessness one person at a time. That takes dedication, and the understanding that getting a Ted Williams off the streets does not stop the struggles instantly. Unlike our culture's demand for instant gratification, Pat is patient and believes that with faith, perseverance, and hard work, lives can change for the better.

Being around Pat is contagious. You become an advocate for the homeless without realizing it. He recruits you with one story at a time about individuals he has met over the years. He shares the goodness of men and women who just needed a break. His stories are filled with hope, compassion, and hurdles that were overcome in order to stay sober or drug-free.

Not every story ends on a high note, but he does not allow disappointment to deter him from reaching out to others. All too often when a very public rags-to-glad story falls short of our expectations, it has a chilling effect on us, and cynicism can creep into our giving and serving others. Pat’s actions can teach us to give to those in need and step out on faith and build relationships with individuals who may stumble and fall on the road to recovery. Leaving a life on the streets can happen with just one fateful encounter, but the emotional scars can follow one into one's new dwellings or lifestyle. We must not allow national scrutiny of one person's circumstances to affect the work we do in a city like Nashville known its generosity, or anywhere. If you come across a Ted Williams today, help him find a Pat Waggoner before he finds an agent. A life can be changed for good.

Article first published as From Rags to Riches to Rehab: Lessons from the Ted Williams Story on Blogcritics.

Also seen in The Nashville Contributor February Edition.
Photos Credit: Ted Williams AP
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Not Just Bed Bugs: Pests Plague the Homeless Community

I am frequently asked about pest control by various members of my community. In church, at restaurants while eating, even at weddings, I have been asked bug questions without hesitation. Often, I nod and smile and give answers as if we are talking about the weather. Because I earn a living as a pest management professional, it comes with the job title. No one wants to live with bugs so I am not surprised by the urgency behind the inquiries. Recently, I had an encounter that caught me off guard.

One evening after stopping to pick up a few items for dinner, I noticed a woman standing by my truck as I was leaving the grocery store. She seemed a little nervous as I approached her and my vehicle. As I slowed my step to better sum up the situation, she looked up and asked hurriedly, “Hello, are you Mrs. Holmes?” I nodded slowly, wondering what was next. The young woman began to tell me she had seen me around town and wanted to know what do about the bug bites on her children, whom she pointed to in the car next to my truck.

Putting my bags away, I turned my attention to the beautiful girls staring back at me. As I started examining her babies very obvious bites, the mom began to tell me her story. She had been displaced by Nashville’s May floods and had to move into temporary housing several times in the last few months. “I am practically homeless,” she blurted out in despair. “I am living in a shelter that is running over with bugs. My kids are being eaten alive.” As a mother of three, my heart went out to her immediately. This mom was homeless because of circumstances beyond her control and she was facing a situation that happens in the homeless community often: infested living quarters.

Pest control issues plague the homeless. Bedbugs are all the rage on the nightly news of late, but contact any advocate for the homeless and pest control issues are discussed often. How do you battle pests like roaches, rodents, lice, spiders and mosquitoes in crowded conditions with limited resources? Often the pest control budget is limited by a “What can we get for the cheapest price?” mindset. That line of thinking plus a lack of education on preventive measures equals trouble for all parties involved.

I took the young mom aside and gave her an impromptu pest control lesson right on the spot. I had a few pest identification books on hand and let her browse through them to see if she recognized any of the bugs that were traumatizing her living space. She pointed out several. As I continued looking at her daughter legs riddled with bumps, my mommy genes took over. I took her and her crew inside the store to buy some anti-itch cream, several plastic storage bins, and a plastic encasement cover for her mattress, as well as large Ziploc bags and retail line of the EcoSmart pesticide products that I use in my business every day.

She left armed with a plan, safe chemicals, and a peace of mind. I must say no one had ever camped out at my truck to try to get pest control problems solved before, but my conversation the next day with the shelter manager where she was living was typical. “We are under contract and we’re trying to deal with it,” she said defensively. I was not asking about a contract; I was asking management: were they being proactive by educating the residents about steps to keep pests at a minimum? Using a pest control company is one step in addressing pests in the homeless community. But engaging members of the homeless community is the key component to controlling the problems. Education on preventive measures must be part their everyday routine at shelters.

The young mom and I stayed in contact for several weeks while she continued to look for bug-free housing for her family. The mom did not want anything other than a safe place to lay her head without bugs until she could find a permanent place to live.

Last month, she called me to share the good news that she found an apartment near her workplace. I could not miss the joy in her voice and told her I would stop by to see her new place. I bought her the best housewarming present I could give her: a year of pest control service. Her smiling face told me I picked the perfect gift!

To purchase EcoSmart Products go to www.ecosmart.com

Article first published as Not Just Bedbugs: Pests Plague the Homeless Community on Blogcritics.